Do you set unrealistically high expectations for yourself? Or maybe you pay attention to small details rather than the big picture? If so, you may be someone living with perfectionism. Perfectionism is often confused with “being perfect”. Instead, perfectionism is a personality trait which can involve; setting high standards to achieve, putting immense pressure on oneself to succeed, and relying on achievements to define self-worth.

However, perfectionism is not all bad, in fact it can be a very positive attribute. By setting high goals and working relentlessly hard for these goals, the pursuit of success can be motivating leading to self-development and growth. 

But there is an important distinction to be made between the constructive and detrimental sides to perfectionism. It is important to ask yourself, are you focusing on the healthy or unhealthy side of perfectionism?

Healthy perfectionism involves a strong desire for growth and achievement. This type of perfectionism may be referred to as “personal standards perfectionism” and is unlikely to be detrimental, as goals seem to energise rather than paralyse the individual. If you are someone with this type of perfectionism you might get excited by a challenge in the hopes it will lead to self-improvement.

However, too much of anything can be bad and perfectionism is no exception to this rule.

The Dangers of Perfectionism in an Imperfect World

Perfectionism may become a problem when the fear of making mistakes begins to consume you, when you become failure-oriented, and when it begins to interfere with schoolwork, your job or your relationships. 

Most importantly, striving to always be perfect is impossible! So fundamentally individuals are setting themselves up for what they fear most, failure.

This type of perfectionism may be termed “self-critical perfectionism” and involves feeling hopeless when it comes to meeting goals and feeling stressed or anxious in the process of working towards these goals. If you are someone with this type of perfectionism you might be sensitive to flaws and ignorant to praise from others. Another type of maladaptive perfectionism is “other orienting perfectionism”, with this type of perfectionism you may find yourself imposing unrealistically high expectations onto those around you. This can result in increased pressure in a relationship and isolation.

Signs of maladaptive Perfectionism

• Taking an excessive amount of time to complete tasks that others complete in a very short time.
• Difficulty with time-management. For example, you may spend too long making one task perfect and end up with insufficient time to complete the rest of your work.
• Black and white thinking, such as “anything short of perfect is not good enough”
• Frequently fearing disapproval from others.
• Procrastinating on a task because of the belief that “there is no point in even starting it if I cannot do it perfectly”
• Believing that there is always a higher goal or standard you can achieve

Perfectionism Can Affect Many Domains

• Work/ School – perfectionism may be beneficial in motivating you to achieve high grades and promotions but may also hinder you through procrastination, poor time-management and constantly burning out.
• Relationships – perfectionism can be problematic when individuals hold themselves to the standards of others or vice versa, when they impose unachievable expectations on others.
• Physical activity – often seen in athletes, perfectionism can be positive in maintaining drive, self-discipline and motivation however can also lead to unhealthy habits especially when one is competing against oneself. Perfectionism can also lead to unhealthy fitness addictions.
• Health - perfectionism can be sometimes seen in anorexia nervosa, and orthorexia nervosa (having an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy).

Perfectionism is on the Rise

Unfortunately, the maladaptive side to perfectionism is on the rise. With the pervasiveness of Social Media, adolescents particularly have become more prone to developing this trait. Specifically, by allowing constant social comparisons, Social Media has created the perfect climate for perfectionism to thrive. It is well-known that adolescents have strong pressures to fit in and be accepted by their peers at school, but now they are now faced with an inescapable pressure to present themselves in a perfect light.

Although we all know deep down that people’s lives are not actually perfect, with the advanced filters and photoshop available today this notion is easily forgotten. Nowadays self-worth is being derived from metrics; the number of likes and followers an individual has, and when these unrealistic targets are not met this can lead to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. 

It is important to remember adolescence is especially the time to make mistakes, it is being comfortable with your mistakes that allows for growth and the development of identity.

If you think your perfectionism is something you need to work on, we can help! Remember not all perfectionism is bad and often it is a matter of setting realistic goals and engaging in perspective taking to get you back on track! Please do not hesitate to call us on 02 9600 6619.